i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
