i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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