Jerry, you need to find god
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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