Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
how does that bad decision feel?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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