why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Randomize
