So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
YOU DRINK NOW BECAUSE YOU ARE A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN WHO DOESN'T NEED A DRINKING PARTNER
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
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