I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
