dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
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