Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
