Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
After we got done he told me to hold his penis because it helps him fall asleep
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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