dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
