Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
