Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
Actions speak louder than pants.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
