I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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