This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
