yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
