Will you blow on my dice?
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
We have started to decorate penises.
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
