My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
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