weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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