I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I just found puke in my bra..
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
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