Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
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