Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
