you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
Randomize
