Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
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I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
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