I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
By 11 pm the pants were off and there was no turning back. But on the bright side, you promised me your CDs when you died, you even signed a napkin saying so.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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