If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
