Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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