So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
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Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
We had to coat check the pizza.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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