...so i touched it.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
Randomize
