Slut skills are useful in every country.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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