She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
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