this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
Just high enough for therapy.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Randomize
