I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
