I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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