maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize