wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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