Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
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