The maid of honor just puked.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
You named all of the cocktail shrimps and then tackled a guy for "eating Henry"
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
