Mac n' cheese is coming out of my nose. You can't make that feel better
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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