i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Randomize
