Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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