if any two of us come back from the bar and aren't getting laid we will systematically destroy everything in the kitchen
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Randomize