so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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