he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Randomize
