Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
you never un-have a 4some
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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