if i can run in heels then i can drive
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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