did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
How does it feel to date your dad?
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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