Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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