I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Call me a snob but I'm not banging chicks with more fingers than teeth.
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