Barsexuality is the new black.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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