So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
This body was not built to go to the gym. It was built to chain smoke cigarettes and shoot whiskey
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize
