Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
