Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
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