Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
Randomize
