Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
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