You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
