He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
"it" just moved
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
is it sad that I can recall my outfits by who took them off?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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