I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
