No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
