Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
