Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
just tell him i said nine months
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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