FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
Get the fuck in, we're going to Taco Bell.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
